på kvällspromenad

Efter nästan 7 år i Helsingfors så gick jag äntligen vilse i mina hemkvarter. Ingen aning hur det var möjligt men helt plötsligt var jag på väg åt helt fel väderstreck.

Oh Joy, världen är stor igen!

Inte nöjd med mindre än ett fullkomligt hopp.

Det slog mig idag, när jag halvfebrig stod och diskade att  Livet kan inte bli bättre än när man har insett att det kan inte bli sämre... 

Ja det var ungefär det.

Men for the record, jag går inte omkring och tror att jag själv är där ännu. Jag förstår inte ens riktigt vad som är skillnad på tro och hopp för tillfället... Eller så är jag där och förstår det men accepterar bara inte hur lite av det som egentligen är upp till mig att förstå. Men jag är övertygad om att även den insikten kommer med tiden. Så länge man söker på rätt ställe alltså.

 Jag vill helt enkelt bara leva som att jag har fått FÖR mycket förlåtet.

Hur ihärdigt är vi beredda att älska främlingar?

Måste medge att det ibland känns konstigt att tänka sig att ens beteende, insikter, val och beslut beror på någon annans val och beslut att be. Särskilt om man inte frågat efter det.  Men om kärlek verkligen är den största kraften. Är det då inte mera konstigt att tänka sig att en ihärdig bön som bottnar i kärlek skulle vara utan verkan? 

Lilla flicka, you had me at Hello!

Jag blev hennes största beundrare när hon tog mod till sig och sprang fram och kramade mig genom främlingsskapet. 5 år gammal, så mycket liv. Hon önskade att jag aldrig skulle tröttna. Hon ville att jag aldrig skulle sluta dyka upp.

Men borta är jag nu och stormen är på väg åt hennes håll.
It breaks my heart that she doesn't know that she still have me.
And if she is not laughing, who is laughing now?"

Hjälp!

Fader vår som har barnen kär, se till flickan som liten är och vart hon än sig nu i världen vänder, håll henne alltid i dina händer… 

Din dotter kommer att dö inatt! vems är felet?

Jag har funderat en del på hur mycket jag ska uttala mig om "Operation Pillar of defense" konflikten som pågår mellan Israel och Gaza för tillfället. Har vänner i Israel som blivit inkallade till träningsläger och som väntar på att gå in i Gaza. Andra har hört varningssirenerna och tagit skydd de senaste dagarna. Israels premiärminister Binyamin Netanyahu har sagt att Israel inte kommer att stanna halvvägs som de tidigare har gjort när de har gett vika för påtryckningar från omvärlden. 

"We are going to continue hitting Hamas hard and we will continue to strike hard at the missiles targeted at Central and Southern Israel," Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu said on Friday.

Netanyahu met with President Shimon Peres in light of the recent escalation in the South.

"Hamas deliberately targets our children, and they deliberately place their rockets next to their children," Netanyahu said" (Källa: Jerusalem post: http://www.jpost.com/DiplomacyAndPolitics/Article.aspx?id=292187

Rätt eller fel av Israel, vi i väst vet nog inte, kan inte förstå och let's face it mediapropagandan har nått en ny kulmen. Mumintrollen får inte plats i dalen mera på grund av mediainvasionen Till och med  Morran flyr i skräck för mediamonstret som knappt ens Knyttet kan bita sig igenom.

Anyway. Det som jag däremot kan förstå och ta ställning till (och här alltså nu även gör) det är viljan att skydda barnen. Aldrig har jag varit så imponerad av Israel som under mina lördagspromenader i  parkerna i Jerusalem. Alla familjer var där och hade picknick och umgicks, spelade boll, skrattade och busade. Jag kunde inte låta bli att undgå sättet föräldrarna prioriterade barnen på, sättet de lyssnade på dem och den plats som barnen fick. Standarden på familjeliv i Israel är hög. kvalitetstid prioriteras. Tänk på vilodagen så du helgar den. Tillbringa den med din familj  och med Gud det är inget man tummar på. Kanske just för att det inte är något man tar förgivet... Och det var fint att se det vecka ut och vecka in.. och vecka ut igen...

Och det det här med barnen. Om man inte vet vad som är sant eller falskt så vet man åtminstone att barnen bör alltid skyddas. Det finns inget om och men där. Den sunda grundläggande levnadsinstinkten och fortplantningen i oss säger " rädda ditt barn" skydda ditt barn, ta hand om din åkomma... Och därför säger det något om människor som INTE gör det. 

Som Israels tidigar premiärminister Golda Meir uttrycker det (hon dog 1978 R.I.P) 

Det är inte bara desperation, det är hat som går ut över de egna! Det var på tapeten bland Israels fiender för 40 år sedan och det är på tapeten fortfarande. Antagligen för att det är barnen för 40 år sedan som har växt upp i samma anda. 

Läs gärna nedanstående Öppna brevet till "Khalil from Gaza", och varför hans 7 åriga dotter inte kommer att överleva inatt!  kanske är det Israels fel, kanske Hamas. Israel påstår att de skyddar sina ungar, Hamas påstår att Israel dödar deras ungar... Första påstående kan jag av erfarenhet skriva under på. Det andra är jag inte säker...

An open letter to Khalil from Gaza

November 18, 2012 by Boaz Kantor

Do you know how alike we are, you and I? We’re both 30 years old; we both have 7-year-old daughters. We’ll both go to sleep tonight with the women we love, not before tucking our daughters in under down comforters, because it’s starting to get chilly.

Both of us will kiss our daughters on the forehead, go to bed and hug our wives, you in Gaza and I in Tel Aviv.

Before we fall asleep, we’ll both think of the next week at work, and the onerous responsibility of providing for our families, feeding our children, and, more importantly, making sure our wives know we’re real men, right, Khalil? 

We’ll both probably think about sex and once again fall asleep only thinking about it.

We’re utterly alike, Khalil, but there is something different.

Your daughter will die tonight.

You won’t find out about it in the morning. You’ll wake up in the middle of the night to a deafening explosion. Your whole house will tremble. Parts of the ceiling will fall on you. You’ll run to your daughter’s bedroom, and find the northern wall gone, your daughter lying on the broken floor, a charred husk.

But don’t worry, Khalil my man, she wasn’t burned alive. The shock wave killed her instantly, before she caught fire. Does that make it any easier for you? No?

Afterward, a guy will show up and introduce himself as Jamil, and he’ll start photographing her.

***

Now, before you get angry at the Zionist pigs who murdered your child, let’s talk about Imad, your neighbor.

You remember that he came to ask you for a loan a year ago? Yeah, I know you’d have given him the money if you had it. But don’t worry, he managed. Someone offered him 2,000 shekels a month, to rent one of the rooms in his house. So last year, without your knowledge, one room in Imad’s apartment was filled with Kassam rockets.

You know, those two-meter-long tubes containing about 10 kilograms of explosives?

So, in this room were 50 of these rockets. And this room, Khalil, shared a wall with your daughter’s bedroom. That means that every night, she laid her head on a pillow next to half a ton of explosives. How did you sleep quietly at night? Imad didn’t tell you?

But wait, don’t get upset at Imad. He’s experiencing financial difficulties, and all he can think about is providing food for his children. He was desperate. Jamil, the guy who pays the rent, convinced him that the room was just a warehouse, and no one would use the rockets. So forget Imad. Let’s talk about the rockets for a second, and understand why they’re bad.

***

What are rockets, Khalil? A rocket is like a bullet. Wherever you aim it, that’s where it’ll hit. Only, unlike a rifle, it has an engine that burns all the way and extends its range. The Kassam, for example, can go for about 20 kilometers.

How do you aim a gun at a target 20 kilometers away? You can’t. You hit approximately. And to make sure you hit your target, you fire 10 rockets together. We call it a “volley.” Rockets are used when you don’t care what you hit. Fire a bunch toward a city, and hope that something will hit a kindergarten. This is known as “terrorism.” And Israelis don’t like terrorism.

Call us crazy, but we want to keep our civilians safe.

A Kassam rocket at Kibutz of Nir Am, near Israel’s border with Gaza (photo credit: Edi Israel/Flash90)

So we spend millions of dollars on missiles, which are kind of like rockets, only they’re accurate, and they allow us to hit the warehouses full of rockets and launchers. We could fire rockets and shells in the general direction of those targets, but then we’d risk hitting many of your civilians. And we don’t want that. So we fire very costly and very accurate missiles at your rocket warehouses. And unfortunately, sometimes little girls sleep with their heads against those warehouses.

But wait, before you get angry at the missiles the Zionist pigs used to kill your daughter, let’s talk for a moment about Jamil.

***

Jamil is a Hamas activist. His role is to locate “warehouses” such as Imad’s, and see to it that rockets are stored in them. That’s it. We call it a “logistics officer,” but that’s a bit different. Jamil received some special instructions: First, that warehouses mustn’t be close to one another. Second, that they be in residential neighborhoods. Next to kindergartens. Next to hospitals and the homes of the elderly.

Adjacent to your daughter’s wall.

And you know why? Because Jamil doesn’t really care if your daughter dies. In fact, he’ll be the first on the scene with his iPhone to film her burnt body and upload it to YouTube. As they did on the first day of Operation Pillar of Defense.

Now you can get angry. Yes, at Jamil.

***

But Khalil, my friend, it’s not enough to be angry at Jamil. You need to get angry at Hamas. It’s your sovereign government, and it decided on this strategy. Hamas invests most of its resources on militarization. In warehouses next to your house. In rocket-launchers next to hospitals. And it’s doing all it can so that civilians will die. Yours, as well as ours. Hamas must be removed.

But how does one get angry at Hamas? Think Internet. Think friends. Think demonstrations. Think dissent. Think criticism. Think organization. Think a blog. Think interviews with the media. Think that Hamas must fall and that you deserve a government that sees you, your job, your future — and your daughter — as top priorities.

Think of your daughter. Think peace.

I assure you that when you stop aiming weapons at us and instead extend to us a hand of cooperation – that’ll be a morning when your daughter wakes up to a day that will build her future.

And it starts with you, Khalil.

Good night.

källa: The Times of Israel:  http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/an-open-letter-to-khalil-from-gaza/

What are you telling your soul? What is your soul telling you?

Every day it comes up to the surface, my soul, asking me the same question; are we there yet?
Every day I give the same answer; No, not yet! but getting there, go back to the rest in peace.

Lovely by Jason Morant

So...
You can call me blessed, because that's what I am, you can call me loved because that's who I am... I'm also Back in helsinki, Back at the theater, working! How do I relate to that? My best  friend I, said/posted  it so beatifully on fb today, lovers do more than workers. Couldn't agree more, let that knowledge make us wise!

Have a nice evening
// A-L

See the way He holds my heart

How to describe God's love and grace, it's like... He takes you on the perfect honeymoon and you cheat on him, and yet he takes you on a second honeymoon.

I'm wrapping up my second visit in Israel, grace has never been more precious...

"I know you through and through. I know everything about you. The very hairs of your head I have numbered. Nothing in your life is unimportant to Me. I have followed you through the years, and I have always loved you – even in your wanderings. I know every one of your problems. I know your needs and your worries. And yes, I know all your sins. But I tell you again that I love you – not for what you have or haven’t done – I love you for you, for the beauty and dignity My Father gave you by creating you in His own image. It is a dignity you have often forgotten, a beauty you have tarnished by sin. But I love you as you are, and I have shed My Blood to win you back. If you only ask Me with faith, My grace will touch all that needs changing in your life, and I will give you the strength to free yourself from sin and all its destructive power.

I know what is in your heart – I know your loneliness and all your hurts – the rejections, the judgments, the humiliations, I carried it all before you. And I carried it all for you, so you might share My strength and victory. I know especially your need for love – how you are thirsting to be loved and cherished. But how often have you thirsted in vain, by seeking that love selfishly, striving to fill the emptiness inside you with passing pleasures – with the even greater emptiness of sin. Do you thirst for love? "Come to Me all you who thirst…" (Jn. 7: 37). I will satisfy you and fill you. Do you thirst to be cherished? I cherish you more than you can imagine – to the point of dying on a cross for you.

I Thirst for You. Yes, that is the only way to even begin to describe My love for you. I THIRST FOR YOU. I thirst to love you and to be loved by you – that is how precious you are to Me. I THIRST FOR YOU. Come to Me, and I will fill your heart and heal your wounds. I will make you a new creation, and give you peace, even in all your trials I THIRST FOR YOU. You must never doubt My mercy, My acceptance of you, My desire to forgive, My longing to bless you and live My life in you. I THIRST FOR YOU. If you feel unimportant in the eyes of the world, that matters not at all. For Me, there is no one any more important in the entire world than you. I THIRST FOR YOU. Open to Me, come to Me, thirst for Me, give me your life – and I will prove to you how important you are to My Heart...

All your life I have been looking for your love – I have never stopped seeking to love you and be loved by you. You have tried many other things in your search for happiness; why not try opening your heart to Me, right now, more than you ever have before.

Whenever you do open the door of your heart, whenever you come close enough, you will hear Me say to you again and again, not in mere human words but in spirit. "No matter what you have done, I love you for your own sake Come to Me with your misery and your sins, with your troubles and needs, and with all your longing to be loved. I stand at the door of your heart and knock. Open to Me, for I THIRST FOR YOU…" 

-Mother Theresa-

The thing is, things don't go wrong because I lack a plan B. 

Things go wrong because I don't follow plan A.

Israel for yet another two weeks, Thank God!

I know the feeling!

I THINK I' M BUFFERING LIFE AND LOVE

buffering:

Preloading data into a reserved area of memory (the buffer). In streaming audio or video from the Internet, buffering refers to downloading a certain amount of data before starting to play the music or movie. Having an advance supply of audio samples or video frames in memory at all times prevents disruption if there are momentary delays in transmission while the material is being played. Even a live broadcast would have a few seconds of delay built in.

(source: the free dictionary)

"you've got to ask yourself one question: Do you feel lucky? well, do ya, punk?"

My mom was here, we were breathing the same air, seeing the same things, living on the same page, have chosen to be written in the same book, yet we are not in the same story it seems... Think I was just the gueststar in hers. (that's what children are, right?) In a way a relief to know that it wasn't about me... I do feel lucky, punk!

Skypa just med C!

o vet bara att jag ska akta mig för att förväxla tacksamhet med hemlängtan... men tacksamhet e en liten blyg och försynt en som gärna vill gömma sig bakom andra.